remember when?

Remember those days in junior high and we looked at our old elementary best friends and said we would never change that much? way to keep your promise.
remember how we used to wonder how someone can change so quickly and leave it all behind? i can see it now.
remember you said you would always be a good kid? that lasted long.

i wish it wasnt all just a memory.

it was goodnight, not goodbye.

Is it really ending, or are we waiting 2 weeks?
you said you will be mad for 2 weeks, but i am afraid that when it is over, things wont be the same.
i know what i did might have hurt you, but it was an accident.
it was a stupid mistake that i dont even know why i did it.
i was thinking about you, but his name flows better.
you dont know what i was hoping would happen in a few seconds, hopefully you were thinking the same thing.
but then i let it slip and you got upset.
i was hoping you let it fly, but then you didnt.
the next practice, i saw you, but you said you were mad.
and i didnt give him a hug to show you that i actually care about you.
then he got mad at me because he had to ask for one.
both of my friends are now mad, and i dont know what to do with myself.
he forgave me, but you are still holding it above me.
you are the one i wanted to talk to, have hold me, blah.
but then i had to be careless and let those words slip.
it was innocent goodbye to him, please dont let it be to us.

if only stereotypes were real.

Everyone always tells me how gorgeous I am.
how skinny I am.
how perfect I am.
i think i am pretty.
small.
average.
and they always ask why I don't have a boyfriend.
i say i don't have time and i don't mind being single.
but they dont know im actually dieing inside to have one.
i have people who talk to me, but they are never the people i want.
i don't want to lead them on, so i just stop talking to them.
what do it do?
just go for them, or wait for the people i will never get.
a freshman football player told me how hot i was.
and that him and the rest of the freshman football team wanted to do me.
i said i wont do that and he asked why.
i just said because.
they are two years younger than me.
people always comment on how the girls should be younger, not the guys.
but i do not feel it matters.
as long as you are both happy.
there are a few on the freshman team, who are my best friends.
i would not mind something with them, but i really cant.
there are boys in my grade that i like.
i heard one of them likes me too, but he never talks to me.
if he were to show some interest, then maybe something can happen.
but i dont want to be wrong and embarrass myself.
i just want someone who i can be happy with and not worry about what people are saying.
i know it is high school and that will happen, but i dont like others opinions.
cant he just see that i like him and we would be happy.
i hope he realizes it before i go through my entire high school career like this.
it is sad, and i want to be happy.
i am cheerleader, and i am no where near the stereotype slut.
but i kind of wish i was, because then i would get some attention.
please wake up and show me if you actually care, so we can stop wasting each others time.

143. <3