You are a bitch.
You say I didn't know the whole story, but you don't really know the whole story.
You make fun of people all the time, but god for bid someone says a bad truth about you, it's the end of their life, and their friends.
You go and create drama on facebook about something that's not even a big deal.
You can't handle the truth.
You make up rumors and talk about how people should just do this and that.
You know what, I am the bigger person and just let it go.
You can post anything you want on fierceboard, but when I said don't quit because you lost your spot, you flip out.
I could have done the same thing last year when I lost my spot in the middle prep, because I loved flying there and doing it.
But you know what, I sucked it up and backspotted because I knew it would help my team.
Just suck it up and realize I wasn't saying anything bad directly to that person, just in general.
And you know what, for the things you and your friends posted on facebook, it just shows how self centered you are to exaggerate about how "perfect" i think I am, but I in no way think I am perfect. It shows you think you are perfect.
But your not perfect.
You are a bitch.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A Real Happy New Year
Today is a new year.
New beginnings.
New Promises.
and hopefully, a new me.
This morning I woke up to a text from you.
It was wonderful because we never text.
My heart was happy.
It was the best way to start off my new year.
You did not last two weeks because I came over your house.
Your sister was hurt, and I brought her a surprise.
Your cousins were there and you talked to me.
You even joked that I was your "girlfriend".
When your aunt said poor child, I said noo, hes only kidding.
But deep down inside, I was hoping to be introduced to them as your actual girlfriend.
Your sister doesn't know how I actually feel about you.
She says that you question and think I like you, but i deny it and say you know I like so and so.
I do like so and so, but I love you.
I texted you all day today, and I hope we can do this again.
I can't wait to see your face again, and give you a hug.
I live for them.
I live for you.
New beginnings.
New Promises.
and hopefully, a new me.
This morning I woke up to a text from you.
It was wonderful because we never text.
My heart was happy.
It was the best way to start off my new year.
You did not last two weeks because I came over your house.
Your sister was hurt, and I brought her a surprise.
Your cousins were there and you talked to me.
You even joked that I was your "girlfriend".
When your aunt said poor child, I said noo, hes only kidding.
But deep down inside, I was hoping to be introduced to them as your actual girlfriend.
Your sister doesn't know how I actually feel about you.
She says that you question and think I like you, but i deny it and say you know I like so and so.
I do like so and so, but I love you.
I texted you all day today, and I hope we can do this again.
I can't wait to see your face again, and give you a hug.
I live for them.
I live for you.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
remember when?
Remember those days in junior high and we looked at our old elementary best friends and said we would never change that much? way to keep your promise.
remember how we used to wonder how someone can change so quickly and leave it all behind? i can see it now.
remember you said you would always be a good kid? that lasted long.
i wish it wasnt all just a memory.
remember how we used to wonder how someone can change so quickly and leave it all behind? i can see it now.
remember you said you would always be a good kid? that lasted long.
i wish it wasnt all just a memory.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
it was goodnight, not goodbye.
Is it really ending, or are we waiting 2 weeks?
you said you will be mad for 2 weeks, but i am afraid that when it is over, things wont be the same.
i know what i did might have hurt you, but it was an accident.
it was a stupid mistake that i dont even know why i did it.
i was thinking about you, but his name flows better.
you dont know what i was hoping would happen in a few seconds, hopefully you were thinking the same thing.
but then i let it slip and you got upset.
i was hoping you let it fly, but then you didnt.
the next practice, i saw you, but you said you were mad.
and i didnt give him a hug to show you that i actually care about you.
then he got mad at me because he had to ask for one.
both of my friends are now mad, and i dont know what to do with myself.
he forgave me, but you are still holding it above me.
you are the one i wanted to talk to, have hold me, blah.
but then i had to be careless and let those words slip.
it was innocent goodbye to him, please dont let it be to us.
you said you will be mad for 2 weeks, but i am afraid that when it is over, things wont be the same.
i know what i did might have hurt you, but it was an accident.
it was a stupid mistake that i dont even know why i did it.
i was thinking about you, but his name flows better.
you dont know what i was hoping would happen in a few seconds, hopefully you were thinking the same thing.
but then i let it slip and you got upset.
i was hoping you let it fly, but then you didnt.
the next practice, i saw you, but you said you were mad.
and i didnt give him a hug to show you that i actually care about you.
then he got mad at me because he had to ask for one.
both of my friends are now mad, and i dont know what to do with myself.
he forgave me, but you are still holding it above me.
you are the one i wanted to talk to, have hold me, blah.
but then i had to be careless and let those words slip.
it was innocent goodbye to him, please dont let it be to us.
Friday, November 12, 2010
if only stereotypes were real.
Everyone always tells me how gorgeous I am.
how skinny I am.
how perfect I am.
i think i am pretty.
small.
average.
and they always ask why I don't have a boyfriend.
i say i don't have time and i don't mind being single.
but they dont know im actually dieing inside to have one.
i have people who talk to me, but they are never the people i want.
i don't want to lead them on, so i just stop talking to them.
what do it do?
just go for them, or wait for the people i will never get.
a freshman football player told me how hot i was.
and that him and the rest of the freshman football team wanted to do me.
i said i wont do that and he asked why.
i just said because.
they are two years younger than me.
people always comment on how the girls should be younger, not the guys.
but i do not feel it matters.
as long as you are both happy.
there are a few on the freshman team, who are my best friends.
i would not mind something with them, but i really cant.
there are boys in my grade that i like.
i heard one of them likes me too, but he never talks to me.
if he were to show some interest, then maybe something can happen.
but i dont want to be wrong and embarrass myself.
i just want someone who i can be happy with and not worry about what people are saying.
i know it is high school and that will happen, but i dont like others opinions.
cant he just see that i like him and we would be happy.
i hope he realizes it before i go through my entire high school career like this.
it is sad, and i want to be happy.
i am cheerleader, and i am no where near the stereotype slut.
but i kind of wish i was, because then i would get some attention.
please wake up and show me if you actually care, so we can stop wasting each others time.
143. <3
how skinny I am.
how perfect I am.
i think i am pretty.
small.
average.
and they always ask why I don't have a boyfriend.
i say i don't have time and i don't mind being single.
but they dont know im actually dieing inside to have one.
i have people who talk to me, but they are never the people i want.
i don't want to lead them on, so i just stop talking to them.
what do it do?
just go for them, or wait for the people i will never get.
a freshman football player told me how hot i was.
and that him and the rest of the freshman football team wanted to do me.
i said i wont do that and he asked why.
i just said because.
they are two years younger than me.
people always comment on how the girls should be younger, not the guys.
but i do not feel it matters.
as long as you are both happy.
there are a few on the freshman team, who are my best friends.
i would not mind something with them, but i really cant.
there are boys in my grade that i like.
i heard one of them likes me too, but he never talks to me.
if he were to show some interest, then maybe something can happen.
but i dont want to be wrong and embarrass myself.
i just want someone who i can be happy with and not worry about what people are saying.
i know it is high school and that will happen, but i dont like others opinions.
cant he just see that i like him and we would be happy.
i hope he realizes it before i go through my entire high school career like this.
it is sad, and i want to be happy.
i am cheerleader, and i am no where near the stereotype slut.
but i kind of wish i was, because then i would get some attention.
please wake up and show me if you actually care, so we can stop wasting each others time.
143. <3
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I live an isolated life.
Not as isolated as you think though.
It is not the common, never talk to anyone kind of deal.
I tell almost everything to all of my best friends.
Some things I only tell to certain ones, but the word gets out to others.
I live isolated as in I don't tell why I feel the way I feel.
I pretty much cannot explain it.
I am very OCD, where things need to be perfect.
So, i guess you can say I am a perfectionist too.
However, I, in no means, think I am a perfect human being.
I have flaws, and things I dilike about myself, mostly things I say.
But I always wish for the perfect life.
I want to find someone who is gorgeous, and there is nothing bad to say.
I dislike when people say one little thing about the person I like.
It gives me a bad image of my crush, and then I stop liking them.
I hate flaws, but I know it's part of life.
I have never been able to get too close to someone, not in fear of me getting hurt, but because I am afraid of what people will say.
I don't want to give myself up to someone who I can see their flaws from the start.
I really cannot explain why.
I look at my friends and am partially jealous at how they can get so close to someone in that short amount of time, and be done with them in a week.
I wish I had that many people chasing after me.
She can go and talk to 6 other guys, but you still think she is only after you?
That might be another reason why I don't go after guys.
They could just me major players.
Many of the guys I like, already have girlfriends.
But, if they don't, then they don't see me that way.
Maybe its because I don't flirt out directly?
I am a cheerleader, obviously.
But I am not a slut.
I love dancing to booty music and acting like a slut with my friends.
I want to get noticed, but not as a slut.
I live behind a wall, that I show myself that way sometimes, and other times not.
So I don't know why I dance that way.
But, I just want them to come talk to me, but thinking about it, it probably scares them off.
I am friends with the guys I like, but I don't think they see me like that.
One of them was younger, and one of my best friends little brothers.
He had a crush on my since we were little, and now, I have a crush on him.
He is a definite flirt, and he always walks with his arms around me, and picks me up and stuff.
But he doesn't know how much I want it to be real.
When people bring anything up like that, I am like oh yeah, uhuhh.
He is my friends little brother, and if she knew anything, she would think I was crazy.
I know he likes someone else, because mentioned her once to his sister while I was there.
But still, I know there could be connection, if we keep this up.
I just hope one day soon, I can be with someone.
I need to find someone, before it's too late.
I love to read, but most books turn out happy in the end and they get their guy.
I would like to read a book that is almost identical to my life, to show myself I am not the only one out here like this.
It is not the common, never talk to anyone kind of deal.
I tell almost everything to all of my best friends.
Some things I only tell to certain ones, but the word gets out to others.
I live isolated as in I don't tell why I feel the way I feel.
I pretty much cannot explain it.
I am very OCD, where things need to be perfect.
So, i guess you can say I am a perfectionist too.
However, I, in no means, think I am a perfect human being.
I have flaws, and things I dilike about myself, mostly things I say.
But I always wish for the perfect life.
I want to find someone who is gorgeous, and there is nothing bad to say.
I dislike when people say one little thing about the person I like.
It gives me a bad image of my crush, and then I stop liking them.
I hate flaws, but I know it's part of life.
I have never been able to get too close to someone, not in fear of me getting hurt, but because I am afraid of what people will say.
I don't want to give myself up to someone who I can see their flaws from the start.
I really cannot explain why.
I look at my friends and am partially jealous at how they can get so close to someone in that short amount of time, and be done with them in a week.
I wish I had that many people chasing after me.
She can go and talk to 6 other guys, but you still think she is only after you?
That might be another reason why I don't go after guys.
They could just me major players.
Many of the guys I like, already have girlfriends.
But, if they don't, then they don't see me that way.
Maybe its because I don't flirt out directly?
I am a cheerleader, obviously.
But I am not a slut.
I love dancing to booty music and acting like a slut with my friends.
I want to get noticed, but not as a slut.
I live behind a wall, that I show myself that way sometimes, and other times not.
So I don't know why I dance that way.
But, I just want them to come talk to me, but thinking about it, it probably scares them off.
I am friends with the guys I like, but I don't think they see me like that.
One of them was younger, and one of my best friends little brothers.
He had a crush on my since we were little, and now, I have a crush on him.
He is a definite flirt, and he always walks with his arms around me, and picks me up and stuff.
But he doesn't know how much I want it to be real.
When people bring anything up like that, I am like oh yeah, uhuhh.
He is my friends little brother, and if she knew anything, she would think I was crazy.
I know he likes someone else, because mentioned her once to his sister while I was there.
But still, I know there could be connection, if we keep this up.
I just hope one day soon, I can be with someone.
I need to find someone, before it's too late.
I love to read, but most books turn out happy in the end and they get their guy.
I would like to read a book that is almost identical to my life, to show myself I am not the only one out here like this.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Back for More
Hello again. It has been a long time, I know. The summer went by and came and almost went another school year. This year was my first year on varsity cheerleading. The team should be called drama. Girls getting kicked off, girls crying at every practice. Oh boy. But we all came together to turn out somewhat decent. Next year however, is going to be bad because we have 5 girls returning from last year. We had a 20 girl squad, 15 were seniors. After football season was my first time on Varsity basketball cheerleading. It is very different than junior high. We actually did stuff. It was probably the most fun season, but i had to miss half of it for my all star team. But now that's over, and we just had tryouts last week. I made it (huge surprise there, not). Not to be mean, but our school is definitely not known for cheerleaders. Nobody respects us. So, this year, they cut 5 girls to make the team better. I hope we are pretty good. Everyone will just have to wait and see.
Now, my all star team. We started off with every girl coming from a level 1 or 2 team, or not cheering at all, to bring a level 4.2 team. That means level 4 stunting and level 2 tumbling. There were about 7 girls at the beginning who could tumble, out of 26. It was a disaster at the beginning. We got 1st place at our first competition in December (went against ourselves.) hahah The next week we went against one other team, but they beat us. We had a lot of work to do. Our next competition wasn't until March, so we had a lot of time to work. And that is what we did. More girls got tumbling and the stunts got better. The one flyer quit because she couldn't stay up, and she wasn't ready for a level 4 team. And we put up this other little girl, let's call her snip snip. She was okay, but she worked kinda hard so we kept her in. When March rolled around, she wasn't doing good so we got a new girl from the older team and put her in. She flew in the girls spot while snip snip tumbled in the front. But the practice the day before we left for competition, a different flyer was doing her back handspring and she landed on her fingers funny. She hurt them, but she toughed it out for the competition. We got 6th place. But we really improved from the last competition and it was pretty much like a first competition for us, so we did pretty good. She went through the 2 days of competing to find out when she gets home that her hand was broken. She was out for a couple of weeks. A different girl from the older team was brought up. She flew in that girls place. Our coach had snip snip back in flying after that competition, along with her fill in. But when we went to the next competition, snip snip bobbled on the first day, so she took her out of the one leg. That was a crazy time. We were in 3rd after the first day, but ended up in 5th place because the girl with the best kick full didn't do it and the one leg bobbled a little. My flyer, princess, was doing really good with her one leg, but she could not twist for her life. So my coach had us do a suicide instead of the double down. Thank god she is the odd ball flyer and we were in the middle. She was the odd ball because every other flyer was 8, 9 or 10 and she was 15, so she was the center to make it look balanced. I am her back spotter for the opening one legged, and the basket tosses, but i fly in the middle of the pyramid. All of the girls from last year always scream OMG Joelle is flying whenever I do my suicide. Its great. We have international all levels this weekend, and then next weekend is our last competition for the season :( I am very upset, but its always fun to start over with a new team and new routine.
School. It stinks this year. My schedule is:
1. Band
2. Study Hall
3. Lab/ Gym/ Study Hall
4. Honors Chemistry
5. Honors Algebra II
6. French II
7. Humanities II
8. Humanities II
I hate band with everything. We got a new band director this year. She stinks. She was so mean and she just changed everything our national champion marching band did. But half way through the year she got married and left, giving us our old director back who was teaching chorus. Obviously, I love study hall. And then Chemistry is one of my favorite classes this year. I am doing really good in it. My average is a 98. My favorite subject is math, so I love Algebra, but my teacher is so slow, so this year it is boring. I spend half of my math minutes doing sudoku while my teacher rambles on. French is okay, but we aren't learning much because we have C lunch. That means we go to the class for 30 min, lunch, then back to class for another 30 min. But its great because it take the teacher 15 minutes to get us under control and start. The one half of the room is bad, and the other is good. Its so funny how segregated we are. And the last period of the day: Humanities II. It is worse than Humanities I. Not because it is harder, that's the thing. We don't do anything in the class. I don't understand their teaching. I like little facts, not reading a paragraph of a primary source and figuring out what it means and how it actually has information that would 7 pages of notes. The history part of the class is what we did that in. It wasn't terrrrrible, but i still missed Humanities I teaching a lot. But the literature part of the class was horrible. We all were failing all of the tests because she wasn't going over the book. If said you didn't need to know something for the test, it means study it because it will be on there. For more than half of the year we read poems and had to find a meaning out of them that had nothing to do with it. There was so much interpretation that we all got wrong. Oh, and the teacher was pregnant again (: What is with our literature teachers being pregnant? But at least this year the teacher left the first week of April. We have a full time sub now and she is so easy. She pretty much told us all of the answers during the test, and when we were going over it and you said you didn't like the question she would mark it right for you. The class just got a whole lot less stressful (: Holy Crap I wrote a lot. I hope I come back soon and let you know how I do!
With lots of love.
Joelle
Now, my all star team. We started off with every girl coming from a level 1 or 2 team, or not cheering at all, to bring a level 4.2 team. That means level 4 stunting and level 2 tumbling. There were about 7 girls at the beginning who could tumble, out of 26. It was a disaster at the beginning. We got 1st place at our first competition in December (went against ourselves.) hahah The next week we went against one other team, but they beat us. We had a lot of work to do. Our next competition wasn't until March, so we had a lot of time to work. And that is what we did. More girls got tumbling and the stunts got better. The one flyer quit because she couldn't stay up, and she wasn't ready for a level 4 team. And we put up this other little girl, let's call her snip snip. She was okay, but she worked kinda hard so we kept her in. When March rolled around, she wasn't doing good so we got a new girl from the older team and put her in. She flew in the girls spot while snip snip tumbled in the front. But the practice the day before we left for competition, a different flyer was doing her back handspring and she landed on her fingers funny. She hurt them, but she toughed it out for the competition. We got 6th place. But we really improved from the last competition and it was pretty much like a first competition for us, so we did pretty good. She went through the 2 days of competing to find out when she gets home that her hand was broken. She was out for a couple of weeks. A different girl from the older team was brought up. She flew in that girls place. Our coach had snip snip back in flying after that competition, along with her fill in. But when we went to the next competition, snip snip bobbled on the first day, so she took her out of the one leg. That was a crazy time. We were in 3rd after the first day, but ended up in 5th place because the girl with the best kick full didn't do it and the one leg bobbled a little. My flyer, princess, was doing really good with her one leg, but she could not twist for her life. So my coach had us do a suicide instead of the double down. Thank god she is the odd ball flyer and we were in the middle. She was the odd ball because every other flyer was 8, 9 or 10 and she was 15, so she was the center to make it look balanced. I am her back spotter for the opening one legged, and the basket tosses, but i fly in the middle of the pyramid. All of the girls from last year always scream OMG Joelle is flying whenever I do my suicide. Its great. We have international all levels this weekend, and then next weekend is our last competition for the season :( I am very upset, but its always fun to start over with a new team and new routine.
School. It stinks this year. My schedule is:
1. Band
2. Study Hall
3. Lab/ Gym/ Study Hall
4. Honors Chemistry
5. Honors Algebra II
6. French II
7. Humanities II
8. Humanities II
I hate band with everything. We got a new band director this year. She stinks. She was so mean and she just changed everything our national champion marching band did. But half way through the year she got married and left, giving us our old director back who was teaching chorus. Obviously, I love study hall. And then Chemistry is one of my favorite classes this year. I am doing really good in it. My average is a 98. My favorite subject is math, so I love Algebra, but my teacher is so slow, so this year it is boring. I spend half of my math minutes doing sudoku while my teacher rambles on. French is okay, but we aren't learning much because we have C lunch. That means we go to the class for 30 min, lunch, then back to class for another 30 min. But its great because it take the teacher 15 minutes to get us under control and start. The one half of the room is bad, and the other is good. Its so funny how segregated we are. And the last period of the day: Humanities II. It is worse than Humanities I. Not because it is harder, that's the thing. We don't do anything in the class. I don't understand their teaching. I like little facts, not reading a paragraph of a primary source and figuring out what it means and how it actually has information that would 7 pages of notes. The history part of the class is what we did that in. It wasn't terrrrrible, but i still missed Humanities I teaching a lot. But the literature part of the class was horrible. We all were failing all of the tests because she wasn't going over the book. If said you didn't need to know something for the test, it means study it because it will be on there. For more than half of the year we read poems and had to find a meaning out of them that had nothing to do with it. There was so much interpretation that we all got wrong. Oh, and the teacher was pregnant again (: What is with our literature teachers being pregnant? But at least this year the teacher left the first week of April. We have a full time sub now and she is so easy. She pretty much told us all of the answers during the test, and when we were going over it and you said you didn't like the question she would mark it right for you. The class just got a whole lot less stressful (: Holy Crap I wrote a lot. I hope I come back soon and let you know how I do!
With lots of love.
Joelle
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